I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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