he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
