When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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