oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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