the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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