a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
