woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
