Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
