Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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