She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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