Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
