No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
