Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
