Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Blood and glitter go together right?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
