I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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