i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
