Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
