My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i think my mom watched the whole time
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
