I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
