We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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