We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
