he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
