Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Randomize
