cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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