he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
