He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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