they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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