it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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