Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
