I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
