He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
