You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
