I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
