Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Randomize
