why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
