i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
you inspire me to be a worse person
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
