we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
