I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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