Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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