$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
