..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Found the puke drawer
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
