so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
well you can't waste a boner
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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