Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
