Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
