Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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