i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
