My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
