Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
