yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I need to align my fucking chakras
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
