so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
