It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
